In the late evening of June 10th 2009, I had a baby. In the early morning of June 11th 2009, my life entered into a flat spin and I started to rapidly jettison all activity from my day-to-day routine that didn’t revolve around changing diapers, breastfeeding, burping, changing more diapers, eating and snatching opportunities to sleep.  Free time suddenly became a luxury commodity during which moments I would jump at the opportunity to change my underwear, maybe even brush my teeth if things were going really well. Understandably, blogging wasn’t exactly that high on my agenda. Although I did manage to tweet every now and then.

But fear not, Internet, I am back.

So umm yes, a lot has happened in the past few weeks. First the baby, then I hurt a lot, then I began to get better, then I got worse again. Then, thanks to the support and encouragement of friends (*love* facebook) I was able to work out what was typical and atypical in my postpartum recovery and a couple of trips back to the midwife later with referrals for bloodtests and physiotherapy and I started feeling a lot better. My lovely midwife also mentioned that there would be some very clear milestones that I would experience- one at around one month, one at six weeks, then others at six months and one year. And as if by magic, at around three and a half weeks I started to turn a corner. Oliver was becoming more predictable and rather than run around after him 24/7 I started being able to take the lead. He also became increasingly more settled, perhaps as a result. Little trips outside of the house started to become less of an anxiety and I was able to decide where to go within limits of my new-mother-comfort-zone instead of going somewhere and hoping that he wouldn’t start screaming for titty as soon as we got there (for us ‘on demand’ feeding equated to 24 hour feeding in the first few weeks).

Interestingly it was also around this time that I made a few changes to his baby lifestyle: at two weeks he had begun to get a bit colicky and a friend suggested he might have reflux, so I started sleeping him bolstered up on my $11 maternity wedge that had kept me comfortable in the final few weeks of carrying him. Overnight our lives changed, he was no longer screaming continuously and inconsolably between the hours of midnight and 4 am. Well worth the $11 in that case. I also noticed that he had been particularly colicky at night whenever his last feed of the day was on the left, so I started pumping to investigate my milk supply. Sure enough my left boob was like a dripping tap compared to the fireman’s hose that was my right. Poor little Oliver Peach was having to work extra hard to feed on less juice, tiring himself out before he was full, and sucking in air in the process. So from that moment on, I made sure that his last feed of the day was only ever on the right. I also started pumping after each nursing session to boost my supply (and also stock up some emergency feeding supplies in the freezer) and again Baby Peach reaped the benefits. Another one of his little issues was that his day and night were completely switched. Again on the recommendations of friends, I started getting stricter with establishing a routine for him, switching on-demand feeding to a regular 2.5 hour meal schedule to stop him from snacking little snacks and not filling himself up properly, building up across the weeks to a 3 hour routine provided he didn’t get hungry in between and start screaming. I also made sure he had very distinctive day and night clothing, changing him between the two at the same times each day, and only swaddling him at night. Sure enough, within the space of a week, his night was during the night, and his day was during the day. RESULT!

The final week that my parents were here I was finally able to relax and take things a little easier, and for the first time I started to enjoy my baby. The first of the big milestones. Finally Oliver and I were able to start to get to know each other and then we started to bond. It had been a concern of mine that I hadn’t felt that wave of unconditional motherly love the moment he had been born, instead feeling more shock and disbelief, but according to close friends, my midwife and my doula this instant love doesn’t happen all the time. But Oliver and I know each other now and the bond is now there, very much so. He really is a sweet little thing. Although he broke me from the waist down whilst he was being born, it was/is only temporary and knowing the little person who he is now, I would go through it all over again as he was completely worth it xx

Now that we are approaching six weeks I can already tell that we are hitting another milestone. Life is getting much, much easier and things just keep getting better. Yes, I’m a mother, a loving mother, and although there are moments where it feels like an effort, I can at last say that on the whole I am thoroughly enjoying it. Squee!